Invalidation – A Favorite Tool of an Abuser
Abusers have many tools in their tool belt. One of their greatest tools is to invalidate you. What does this invalidation look like? The abuser tries to talk you out of your...
I Am So Thankful for DomesticShelters.org
Have you ever heard of DomesticShelters.org? I truly hope so. If you follow me on Facebook, you probably have because I am one of their biggest fans. DomesticShelters.org began two years ago, through a partnership of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence...
Standing Up for Yourself by Using Boundaries
In my last blog I shared how to spot a bully, and gave some specific ways to combat the manipulation of a bully. This week, I would like to talk about using personal boundaries to protect yourself from these sharks. Many women are not taught how to stand up for...
Spotting and Dealing with a Bully
Remember those bullies from school? They seemed oh so powerful and strong . . . no one had the guts to stand up to them. Abusers are bullies in disguise. In the beginning they look like lambs when they are really wolves, or dolphins when they are really sharks. Those...
Announcing: DV Guide for Churches
In my last blog, I shared what happened to me when I asked my church for help when I was being abused. Then I asked the question, "Have you ever sought help from your church for domestic violence? If so, what happened?" I got many responses, all of which made me sad....
Seeking Help from the Church While Being Abused
Victims of domestic violence often turn to their churches for help. Many church leaders are not educated in domestic violence and unwittingly aid the abuser instead of the victim. My Experience Many years ago, I was an abuse victim. I became afraid of my...
How Can You Protect Yourself from a Sociopath?
In my last blog I asked the question, are all abusers sociopaths? That is unclear, but they certainly have similarities. According to Dr. Martha Stout in her book The Sociopath Next Door, 1 in 25 Americans is a sociopath! Yikes! How do we protect ourselves from...
Are All Abusers Sociopaths?
Many domestic violence survivors believe all abusers are socio- or psychopaths. I've asked experts in the field of domestic violence if they agree. These experts say we shouldn't label abusers because if an abuser should be labeled a "sociopath," he would then...
More About Protection/Restraining Orders
In my last blog, I shared my story of taking out a restraining order against my abusive ex-husband. For me, that was definitely the right thing to do. Should every abuse victim get a restraining order? Not necessarily. Should every abuse victim get a...
Should You Get a Restraining Order, (PPO)?
To restrain or not to restrain . . . that is the question. Professionals often suggest abuse victims get a restraining order (also known as a Personal Protection Order) as a way to reduce the contact (and abuse) from their abuser. Is this a good idea for you? That...