Coming out of the Darkness


I have found healing from abuse can sometimes feel as if I am lost in the darkness. When in the darkness, I don’t know where to turn, or what to hold onto. Other times, I feel wonderful, and I barely remember the dark times. Healing is a confusing, up and down ride that doesn’t follow a straight line.

My journey through abuse came from my husband of twenty years. Because of my faith, I took my vow to remain married until “death do us part” very seriously. My goal was to remain married no matter the cost to myself. As a result, I tried to ignore his abusive actions for many years. When my life became unbearable, I was finally honest with myself. I searched for a definition of abuse, and accepted the fact that I was being abused. I hired a lawyer, petitioned a judge for a restraining order against my husband, and had him removed from my home.

We fought a contentious divorce. My church’s leadership did not support me, causing me additional pain. My first book, A Journey through Emotional Abuse: From Bondage to Freedom, tells the story of my journey from denying I was being abused through the end of my divorce. I wrote it to help other Christian women experiencing abuse in their marriages, and also to help with my own healing. When I began helping former abuse victims via Facebook and my website, I realized other women were struggling with healing from the abuse they had suffered, just as I was. Hence, the idea for my second book, A Journey to Healing After Emotional Abuse was born.

During the month of December I will be sharing parts of my new book in preparation for its launch in January. I invite you to check out a sample chapter of the book at this link.

Emotional abuse causes trauma which does not magically disappear; we must proactively engage in seeking healing. Healing is a process and we never  actually “arrive” at complete healing; but being abused does not destine us to a life of trauma and misery. We can learn much along the journey, and can live productive, happy lives after abuse.

God loves you and cares for you. If you have been abused, you have been sinned against by someone who claimed to love you. But God wants to restore what has been taken from you. God is the God of redemption! If you let Him, He will help you heal your brokenness.

Through God’s inspiration, Isaiah wrote these words in Isaiah 61:

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
    and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
    and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor. . .

They will rebuild the ancient ruins
    and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
    that have been devastated for generations.

Instead of your shame
    you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
    you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
    and everlasting joy will be yours.

“For I, the Lord, love justice;
    I hate robbery and wrongdoing.
In my faithfulness I will reward my people
    and make an everlasting covenant with them.
Their descendants will be known among the nations
    and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
    that they are a people the Lord has blessed.”

I love these words of healing and blessing. From my own life, I know you can experience joy after being emotionally abused. I am excited to share the things I learned as I walked my own journey to healing. I certainly don’t profess to be an expert on healing after abuse, far from it! But, in my book I share what I learned with God’s help, the help of many friends and counselors, and by studying many great books about healing. I invite you to come along on the journey to healing with me, and come out of the darkness into the light.

Blessings to you all,


P.S. I would love to hear how healing from abuse feels to you. Please share in the comments.


This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Geneva says:

    I think I’m ready to step out of the darkness. I hate it here, but it’s all I’ve known for 22yrs. Please be praying for me and my 5 children.

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