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We Store Our Trauma in Our Bodies

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I put off taking a yoga class for years, though many friends, counselors and doctors had recommended it to me. I knew it was often very “new age,” and I didn’t want to deal with that. When I finally tried it, I found that to indeed be true. When instructors begin giving new age advice, I pray to Jesus.

Yoga movements are helpful for relaxation, which I surely need. What I found most interesting was I started to cry at the beginning of my second class. I really wanted to weep, though I held back. This happened again at the end of the class. The instructor explained we hold trauma in our bodies. He was excited his class had begun the process of releasing the emotions I had experienced over ten years ago. He said he would welcome me weeping during his class, though it might startle some of the class members. I’m glad he was excited. At the time I just felt weird.

The more I’ve thought about it, the more this made sense to me. When I was with my ex-husband I held my body tight to be prepared for the next onslaught of his abuse. I also taught myself not to cry. Since I’ve been free this last decade, I’ve made many strides forward in my healing process. I’ve taught myself how to cry again, and I am not as tense as I once was. I do notice that I have trouble taking the deep “belly” breaths yoga prescribes. I tend to take the shallow “fight or flight” upper chest breaths one takes when getting ready to run for her life. Not too surprising I guess. A lifetime of trying to please others will do that to you.

I asked my counselor if she’d ever heard of others crying during yoga. She said she had many clients who cry during yoga and even during massage. I guess I’m not alone. Have you ever experienced anything like this?

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This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. paige23 says:

    Yes, I have been crying deeply and passionately sobbing and or weeping every single day for a solid year now. Do I want to? Heck to the no. Am I holding back, yes when I have felt in safe and ironically that was when I was in session with my daughter Samantha a few days ago.
    Her leaving me and shutting me completely out of my life was the door that opened the floodgates of deeply held lifetime of abuse.
    The therapy session was her dad’s way of torturing me with her .
    So, yes my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Jesus holds the key to my heart and only by His divine grace and mercy am I free now. From all yokes of bondage. All the tears i surpressed for years are right at the surface.. And it feels like a tsunami at times..However, I won’t quit fighting the good fight for the sake of other daughters and sisters like you!
    Cry for mercy and deliverance, sister. I stand with you!

  2. Wow, I am sorry you are experiencing this, but at the same time I am happy you are able to express your pain. I hope you are doing some other self care to try to move past this time in your life. Please check out the preview chapter of my new book on healing, which talks about self-care. Here is the link:http://www.carolineabbott.com/journey-to-healing/ . This new book might be really helpful for you. Bless you and thank you for your comment!

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